And I had a copy of an identical volume, which was passed to me by a friend. For she had endeavoured to study its contents but was thwarted; and so the volume remained unread in her sight. And so I too perused the tome, and marvelled at the tale within. And whereas my benefactor had conceded defeat too readily, I persevered, and my tenacity was rewarded with a tale of staggering imagination and perspicacity. And yet the oppressive contrivance of the literary style took its toll upon me, so towards the end, I speed read chapter upon chapter; because, in truth, it was starting to get on my bloody nerves.
Ha ha ha! Best. Comment. Ever.